Friday Ramble: To be or not to be

It has been an oddly busy week. Mostly because I've chosen to get a few diagnostic tasks done with my old PC here. She's done me good service in the nearly 7 years I've had her and I can see the old girl is starting to fade. A tweak here and a tweak there seems to be keeping her going. No death panels for this girl. Only life sustaining measures.

Its possible that she will be my last PC. Possible. I am definitely migrating over to Mac but there are a few things I can only do with a PC, so a netbook might be in my future, as they are eminently affordable. At home I can start with a Mac mini. I'd like something portable and easily hooked up. I like to write and because of so many restrictions at work, I can't write there and have my work be anywhere but at the office. That kind of sucks. I also can't blog there as anything, ANYTHING remotely bloglike is blocked. And I do want to keep writing.

I think I'm supposed to keep writing. At least that's what one of the little voices in my head is telling me when I think about the second half of my life and what I want to do with it. I still want to be a paid, working actor. It still burns as a desire, and I'm starting to understand how my ADHD has played into my lack of a career. So I think I have to find a way to get both going again.

I understand there are now ADHD Coaches. People who help keep people like me get focused, remain focused and accomplish things. Like an airline pilot keeping his jet on course. I'm looking into that, thanks to an article my ex wife sent me.

You know, its entirely possible that I will have this all worked out by the time I keel over at the age of 120. Will I be too old to play Hamlet by then?

Numbers

My birthday was last Friday.

I've said before that I like to think of birthdays as days of renewal, which is absolutely true.

But this year I'm having trouble with the numbers involved. I'm trying to focus on the fact that the past month and a half has been about nothing but renewal...a reboot.

Moving, to a new and better place and yet spending less money on it though gaining a roommate who actually seems damned cool.

Shifts at work that are beyond my control also seem to be creating a kind of reboot...not sure how I feel about those, but I'm just glad as hell to still have a job in his economy and especially considering the industry I am currently employed in.

But, this isn't exactly the career I had in mind...Hell, its not even a career. Shouldn't someone with these numbers attached to my age have a career? Or am I just caving to societal pressure.

I know this...I find myself relieved I've never had enough to save a considerable amount in 401Ks...at least I haven't lost all that.

I'm rambling today before going off to see an old friend whom I haven't seen in a very long time. His numbers are a good bit greater than mine and he seems considerably happier. A wise wise visit on my part I think.

On a better note, while I am working downtown I have decided to spend my lunch hour walking the river promenade...its quite beautiful and very calming.

God how I love being by water.

Ok..this useless ramble should end now.

Thank you for your time.