Saturday, January 31, 2009

Daughter's ASPerations Part I

Before my daughter was 2 she had twice suffered from lung related illnesses that came with high fevers.

The first time was classic croup. I still remember with vivid clarity the cold days and nights and long steam baths to keep her breathing and relaxed. I must have spent hours in the bathroom donned in my bathing suit while we both sweated and inhaled. And the long frigid walks we would take. Her in her stroller, finally sleeping because the cold dry air was letting her lungs do their thing.

It was pretty typical but sometimes draining. Still, it was distressing.

A while after that she developed another seriously high fever. The pediatrician we had at the time attributed it to a cold, but the baby was nodding out and burning up. So I called MY old pediatrician who was still around and asked for an appt. He'd since become highly sought after in New York City but since I and my brother were former patients and since he had treated me for an equally mysterious ailment when I was about 12, I felt obligated to try my luck getting an appt.

It worked. Very much like my own emergency Dr. Smith (yup, Dr. Smith) was clutching my daughter in his arms and taking her to the Pediatric Emergency Room at New York Hospital.

Hours went by. Her mother was in a panic because the baby's fever had not subsided and it was frighteningly high. My mother had come to town from Long Island to help out and it was a boon. My ex wife (well, not ex at the time) was beside herself with fear. The baby was screaming and they had to do many tests. I was in the terrible position of having to hold her very tight and as gently as I could while doctors, poked, prodded, extracted and pinched for hours on end. The bay seemed to be pleading to me to make it all stop and there I was holding her down to help them.

Not one of my favorite days. At one point, still mystefied, the doctors decided to keep her overnight on ice to keep her fever down. Then shortly after they found that she had a very odd and rare form of pneumonia and that she would need shots for a few days. At long last, they saved her life.

But after that day, she was never the same.

(to be continued)

Friday, January 30, 2009

Dadd and Daughter with ASPirations

I've talked on this blog about learning that I have ADD and I've mentioned my daughter having Asperger's Syndrome. They are both related in the sense that they are part of the very wide Autism Spectrum.

Now, the more I learn the more I believe that EVERYone is on the spectrum, but that's another story.

My daughter started college this year and her first semester was less than successful. Her mother and I encouraged her to be clear about her disability and to seek out every resource that she could. But she wanted to try on her own and though she wouldn't hide her condition, she didn't want to be thought of as an "Aspy".

So much for that. Her GPA was awful and it was almost entirely due to things she missed completely despite working for her classes and enjoying them very much.

What followed the reception of her grades was a serious family meeting and a lot of coaching and help from her mother, her stepfather and me. A real team family effort.

SHe's back and slowly getting herself up to snuff on her resources, but we find ourselves having to stay on top of her a great deal. This generally results in hostilities with her mother.

Today I had a good long talk with her on the phone. A slow, methodical laying out of what has to happen, why I understand her frustration but also that she needs to understand that our nagging efforts now are to avoid more and more nagging later.

Asperger's Syndrome is a tough thing to live with and I think of my daughter as a Pioneer. She is part of the first generation since AS was even recognized. She is of the first group of AS people going to college.

I might be a crazed, nagging father, but at the core, I believe my daughter is a hero.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Pissant Whining Children

So yesterday the House Republicans decided "No We Can't" and voted unanimously against the bail out bill.

Poor babies, too much money for jobs and not enough for Corporate Tax Cuts.

"We have the second highest Corporate Taxes in the World...the CBO says..."

Oh I am all broken up about your fucking Corporate Taxes.

"Everyone knows that when you cut taxes, it creates jobs"

Hmmmm. Lets see....

Bill Clinton raises taxes on the wealthiest Americans, creates 26 million jobs in 8 years.
GW Bushbrain cuts taxes, we go into recession (no he did not inherit a recession, the recession started into his first year. Up until then it was just a slowdown, no job loss until...)Over 5 years he creates 3 million jobs. Then in the last year, loses half a million.

That's 26 million to 2.5 million.

Cutting taxes cuts taxes. That's it. It has no overall benefit except to those whose taxes are cut.

You creeps never mention taxes for the middle class getting cut. You never mention cutting or eliminating taxes on unemployment benefits (a tax that was started by RONALD REAGAN I feel compelled to remind you) Ohhh, but poor poor Exxon Mobil, poor poor AIG.

There are people losing jobs right and left out here you fatuous fucktards! People with children and mortgages and who also need to eat on occasion.

I know back in college you all read Ayn Rand and got all excited about Objectivism. But guess what, The Fountainhead is a fantasy novel. The world doesn't work that way.

When private industry collapses on their "Virtue of Selfishness", the Government has to go in and push for new jobs (like you know, sodding and fixing the National Mall, fixing highways). Get the money out there and make those jobs happen. People get paid, they pay their bills, money circulates, banks start lending again because there's folks who can pay loans off. Cause and Effect, not some dumbassed theory written by a certifiably insane woman who had serious emotional problems.

You're all old men now. Grow up. You lost your majority, and you're not getting it back anytime soon. Work for your country, not your bassackwards theoretical and unproven bullshit.

People are starving and panicking here. FUCK your alleged principals and stop fucking the people!

I'm Gifts of Thought and I approved this message.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

This is not too far off the mark, but really misses my other passions.

You Are a Cartographer

You have a wide range of knowledge and you're very detail oriented.

You have a photographic memory, and you remember places very well.

Like a middle ages cartographer, you're also very adventurous and curious about the world.

In modern times, you would make a good non-fiction writer or scientist.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


My daughter was supposed to go to the campus bookstore yesterday and trade in the incorrect books I paid for last week (that cost me a FORTUNE) for the right ones. She didn't get to it, didn't call me when she was supposed to and I spent the entire evening suffering "Dead In A Ditch" syndrome.

She did get it taken care of today, but now that I am one heart attack closer to death....

... in her honor, I give all 2 of you this new Robot Chicken Sketch.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Just Breathe

I've been battling a cold since a few days before Christmas and the latest manifestation is on occasion not being able to inhale without hacking. Its very annoying. Then I'm fine for hours on end.

Its basically just post nasal drip (I know, hello to the imagery) but it pisses me off that I still have this thing.

I'm a vitamin taker and all that too. So I suppose my fight on the cold is like Obama's stimulus package, I just keep it from getting worse.

I'm ready for things to improve on both my sinuses AND the economy...any time now. Any time.

Sunday, January 25, 2009


After much resistance I finally got myself on Facebook several months ago. I avoided it the first few invites and then I saw that my brother had succumbed. He'd sent an invite to me and I figured, "well, if he's doing it, then it can't be too terrible.

Now mind you, I had found the whole MySpace thing superbly annoying. Lots of junk emails, lots of bullshit friend request from porn sites. I had no patience.

But Facebook has turned out to be ok. Despite the owners being rather fascistic about certain things here and there.

I've actually been finding old friends and been found by even more old friends.

It's a trip and a half, especially when you don't recognize them at first and then that first small inkling of a clue hits me and a flood of memories pour through my brain like Niagara Falls in the summer.

Nothing profound, or earth shattering. Just that today it is blowing my mind how many High School friends are suddenly showing up...and this morning I even found a friend from elementary school.

We live in a strange age.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Supreme Embarrassment

If you've read any of my blogs you probably have a fairly decent idea of what I think of Justice Clarence Thomas.

A professional photographer named David Bergman took several high definition photographs at the Inauguration. He pieced them together in this incredible collage.

Before you go to it though, take a look below at the clip I took (a very very very tiny part of the photo) a Justice who in nearly 20 years has never asked a single question as a Supreme Court Justice, or written a singular that differs a bit from Antonin Scalia. Ok, in fairness it seems that lately he's managed to write a view that isn't a verbatim reproduction of Scalia, but only lately.
The man who was cynically set to replace the late great Thurgood Marshall.

Here, we see the first African American President giving his inaugural address to a crowd of 2 million people and an audience of 35 million, his colleague and chief had just amusingly flubbed the oath of office with that President, and here's what he was doing as that President called the country to a new era.

Now you see a lot of funny faces in this pic. It was freezing after all. But napping? Clarence sits alone in that. No doubt as more and more people notice this, he will gripe and whine about being picked on.

Here's where you can see the entire photograph. You can pan, zoom in and out...You'll be playing with it for hours, I promise you.

You will love the weird hats some people wear.


Friday, January 23, 2009


I've gone all day not entering anything. I've had no idea what to say today so...I'm going to do what my friends keep saying to me; "JUST WRITE".

A friend of mine is in a financial crisis as of today and I'm afraid its affected my mood. For the most part I am worried for my friend and their state of mind and condition and so I've been grumpy. It's also true that the situation resonates.

I myself have been in crisis mode for the last few years, the last two being just insane. Things are slowly improving but not fast enough for my taste.

But this particular friend and their plight distresses me more, because its indicative of the entire national economy and the lack of work there is in the country.

Where I work I actually work about ohhh...25 minutes out of my full shift. When I first started working here (and I can't disclose beyond that its creative work in the financial industry) it was nearly impossible to take a break with so much work flooding with tight deadlines.

It's dead all over it seems. I worry for my friend and I worry for me and I worry for us all.

I sure hope the stimulus package works and that they really get things going and fast. I hope the infrastructure projects start as soon as possible (that in particular could be of particular help to my friend)and I hope that we all get through this soon.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Unapologetic Gushing for my Country

By the time I was six years old, John F. Kennedy, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King and Robert F. Kennedy had met violent assassinations, the Vietnam War and its graphic casualties were on the news everyday, black kids getting hosed in the streets of southern cities and towns, the Watts riots in Los Angeles, Kent State and probably a few others that memory fails to recall.

And then Richard Nixon came along.

This will strike some of you as odd (that is if there is anyone reading this) but even at that age I knew something was wrong with that guy. Call it child’s intuition, but something about him bugged me in a large way. My mother tells me that in 1972 I was making my own anti-Nixon flyers and passing them in the street. I have no memory of this, but I have to say it sounds right.

I remember watching Nixon’s resignation speech on that warm summer night. I was 11 by that time.

Then there was Ford who said that our long national nightmare was over, and then he pardoned the criminal ex-president. And then he tripped a lot.

After Ford came Carter. I remember the slogan “Trust me” and not liking it at all. But he wasn’t Ford, so I figured he’d be a step up. I wasn’t too right. Now my dislike of Carter’s presidency had less to do with the hostage situation or the economy. What irked me about Carter was his way too militant stance on the Soviet Union and his decision to boycott the Olympics.

November of 1980. My first election. On election day I asked my theater professor to allow me to tag a ride from college back into the city so I could vote. That night I sat in a bar called Hanratty’s on the Upper West Side of Manhattan with my father and wept into my beer. I wept because Ronald Reagan was clearly going to win. I wept because Jimmy Carter was the only alternative to Ronald Reagan. I wept because by that time, the experience I was having of my country was one of astounding arrogance, violence and egotism. I wept because I was fully understanding that so rarely does one get to vote FOR someone so much as vote against.

I wept, because I felt that the country I lived in was a country of great promise that acted as if it had already delivered on that promise and was far far far from it.

Believe it or not, growing up I still loved The United States and what it stands for that entire time. Few who knew me in those days would believe that because I ranted continually on how this country sucked. But it was because of the lies and violence I grew up watching.

Reagan, well…that’s a disaster we are still paying for. Then GHW Bush. My brother said it best when he won the election. “There is no such thing as an ex-head of the CIA” Too much conflict of interest. Too much lack of care. One day I’ll put down a rant on the entire Bush family, from Nazi Sympathizer Prescott down to Jeb’s crack addicted children, but that’s another night.

Then Bill Clinton. A man of promise, great promise and good words. I flipped the lever for him with some reluctance, only because while I liked his words, something about him seemed off. Turned out it was his dick and a lack of ability to truly consolidate his political genius in a way that truly turned the tide on the previous 12 years.

A lot of blame is laid at Clinton’s feet for W’s mistakes...ways of diverting responsibility, but we do have to admit that Clinton did have something to do with our current financial situation and the failure of true Welfare Reform. Blaming Clinton for 9/11 however is wishful thinking on W apologists’ parts.

What followed Bill is the unspeakable anti-American, anti-Constitutional activities of the W. Administration.

Can you wonder that my world view is often bitter and angry? But that bitterness and anger rises out of a love of this country, its heart and soul and the genius of the flawed men that founded it.

This year, slowly but surely I came for the first time to vote FOR someone. I watched as the kind of philosopher leader I had longed for for my whole life steadily, surely and calmly won the election for President of the United States.

I watched proudly along with 35 million other people on our televisions and 2 million braved ridiculous cold to watch him somewhat clumsily inaugurated. I feel inspired.

I am now not only proud of America’s promise, but its behavior.

I said a few days ago that perhaps we needed the last 8 years to sink so low that we had to long for sunlight so much that we drank it like starving artists for lunch.

Today I watched President Obama begin to demonstrate what it means to have good government. He spoke about the sacrifices that employees of the state department offer just by showing up.

I am proud of where we seem to be going.

I’m mindful that we’re at the start. But I’ve never seen so much heart and soul poured into national service by our political leaders.

We are moving to our promise again, we are moving forward at last. We are going to try the impossible again. We are going to lead with confidence and without fear.

We are taking patriotism back from jingoistic, ignorant buffoons and being what we stand for.

We are Americans again.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


I had a busy day out of town today.

So I'm saving a sober blog for tomorrow.

For tonight, I ponder contacting Seth Green to get some revenue for promoting Robot Chicken.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Totally Awesome Day

I watched the inauguration today with friends online.

What a spectacular day.

I note that a few of Bush's 21% decided that it was Obama and not Roberts who flubbed the oath. Nice try guys. But seriously, be serious.

Beautiful speech on every level. Realistic and inspiring.

I've always been proud to be from this country, but today, I felt it deep in my bones. No jingolish, no chest thumping. Simple affirmation of what is truly great about the United States of America.

A crowd of millions.


Monday, January 19, 2009

This Day

Its been a whirlwind day for me. Filled with craziness that should not be occurring on a day that to me is sacred.

I was 6 years old when this great man was killed. Not long after Bobby Kennedy followed. Both men inspired. I believe to the core of my being that we would be living in a far better world had either one or both of them not been taken from us.

But tomorrow seems a renewed promise to me. Not because I think our new president is magically going to make it all disappear, but because his election and his approach, especially after the long national nightmare that is the last eight years awoke in us our better angels, or at the very least, common sense.

Maybe we needed the last 8 years to wake us up to our true potential again. Maybe we needed to go down deep to the bottom before remembering what we are capable of as human beings and citizens of the United States.

Whatever President Obama is able or unable to accomplish. However he may or may not deliver or perhaps disappoint, I hope that we remember that there is still a promised land..and we can still get to it.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

More Customer Service wonders (revised)

As an addendum to the below:

I went downstairs this morning to meet with the ex-wife, her fiancee and my daughter to drive up to college. Dumping some gargage I find two men from Time Warner waiting to get to the back, trying to get hold of my superintendent. Seems the problem is with the entire building I live in (refuting from the many customer service reps who declared that no one else was calling with issues from my neighborhood), they said they'd wait as long as they had to to get back there. One of the guys declared it was Sunday and football day and it would be bad for the CSRs indeed if they didn't tend to it right away.

SO I crossed my fingers and went on my merry way to pick up a McDonald's breakfast, and hot chocolate for my daughter, get in the car and on my way. I returned...and it seems that all has been well since 9:30, this morning. Problem, so far, solved.

So it would seem that while the outward indicators were telling me that the cable company was screwing up, they were in fact on the case. They just aren't good at telling their operators this.

Whatever. I'm happy that I don't have to entertain switching companies. The alternative is Verizon and I loathe that company more than I loathe Sprint, but not as much as I loathe Halliburton.

Oh and by the way as in having nothing to do with any of this, according to a fun little questionnaire done by a friend of mine, I am....

Since I love horses I figure this is a fun thing to know...though I'm not entirely sure its accurate.
If you want to take it yourself for fun..Go here.

This morning's entry:
My internet has been intermittent at best the last day or so. Hence my being behind.

Time Warner Cables crackerjack team have been astoundingly inconsistent in their explanations.

And now I have TV picture. Just in time for Big Love to be on tonight.


I am off to see my daughter off on her second semester of college. It is snowing like madness. It will be a beautiful if slow day.

Enjoy the snow if any of you are reading this in the area. If not...Enjoy your Sunday.

Friday, January 16, 2009

What if.....

a president gave a farewell address and no one watched cause they cared more about a plane crash that he didn't even have the presence of mind to address?

Thursday, January 15, 2009

In Memoriam

Growing up, there were three huge cultural icons that still shape my world view. Back then they were less pop culture and more just cult, but here they are.

The Twilight Zone
Star Trek
The Prisoner

Rod Serling, the genius behind the Twilight Zone passed in 1977, which sucks. I can't begin to imagine what gems would have come to us had he lived a more reasonable amount of time.


Patrick McGoohan, star and creator of The Prisoner and Ricardo Montalban, famous for his portrayal of Khan on both the Star Trek series and the movie that revived the ST franchise, passed away on Tuesday and Wednesday respectively.

Though neither passing comes as a surprise, both men had been struggling with illness for awhile, I'm very sad.

Like all geeks I remember these men for their genre performances, but it drives me crazy when I see comments that focus exclusively on those credits.

McGoohan had a classical theater and major film background well before Danger Man, Secret Agent Man and The Prisoner. While his work on The Prisoner was pioneering, literally changing television for the better for generations, there was more to the man than The Village and Number 6.

Ricardo Montalban was the first major latino movie star in this country. A pioneer. for your perusal are excellent and comprehensive biographies on these two great men.

Patrick McGoohan
Ricardo Montalban despite the infuriating headline

TCM's tribute to Montalban

IMDB for McGoohan
IMDB for Montalban

In Pace Requiescat

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


I work at night in a new skyscraper in New York City.

This building is supposed to be state of the art green technology. Filters for rainwater for the toilets, waterless urinals, thermal windows, specially timed heating and cooling systems and elevators that batch floors ahead of time to use less energy.

Thus far the building is yet to be finished. Glass has fallen out of the building three times, nearly killing passersby below.

The water filtration system does not ventilate properly and half my floor smells like a sewer 90% of the time.

The waterless urinals tend to back up. On a high floor...they back up. What?

It's either too cold or too hot. Most of the time you'll see one or two people in my office with wool hats on.

And last night, or rather this morning, the fire department had to test the elevators. For whatever reason this required ALL of the elevators to be shut down at once for an unknown period of time with an occasionally operational car at any given random moment.

Now...set aside that there was no advance notice of this taking place, we just got a building announcement at the moment of the shutdown without so much as 10 minutes to prepare. Set aside that if there is an emergency in the building, EMT would not be able to get to wherever with a stretcher. But there is a co worker here, a woman in her 60s with bad knees. Going down 29 flights of steps at 1am when her shift ends is a ridiculous situation.

There was no cooperation at all regarding my co worker. None. Just sit around and wait and see which elevator car decides to work fully during the testing.

One MIGHT think that the FIRE DEPARTMENT might be sympathetic to the idea of people safety.


My other friend and I went down the 29 flights of stairs. I knew that with my artificial hip that I'd feel it in the morning, but it wouldn't be a big deal and I could use the exercise anyway (you actually use more muscle going down stairs than going up) but my older co worker had to just wait. And Wait. And Wait.

This kind of thing just eats my ass. When the Fire Department isn't thinking ahead, no one is.

No wonder we are in the state we are in.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, I swear officer I didn't know that was a lama medicine

I've mentioned that I still seem to have this whatever it is lingering in my head. A slightly irritated soft palate and some PND. It doesn't seem to be a cold but if its an allergy its not responding to Zyrtec the way my other allergies do.

Its annoying. But I'm glad to have gone last night without Nyquil at last, so I take it as a sign that things are improving.

I slept pretty solidly too, which is also great for a Nyquil less night because I don't generally sleep solidly ever.

So that's a yay.

In the meantime I have friends who have been fighting nasty non flu ailments that hang on for months. Tough year.

Let's all get better, please.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Sam's Identity/Career/Income Crisis

(Note: For some reason I got it in my cold med addled brain that Sam was George. I've fixed that. My apologies to any and all 3 of you who read this)

Sam Wurzelbacher is now a foreign war correspondent for the right wing website

You have to be a member to see his videos, but you can find them on YouTube easily enough. Like below

Sam called himself Joe when he tried to confront Barack Obama during the campaign. He asked a good question though it was under a completely bogus set of circumstances.

For one, he called himself Joe and said he was a plumber thinking of buying his bosses business.

A. Name is Samual and most people who know him at least used to call him Sam even though his middle name is Joe.
B. Not a licensed plumber
C. Boss was not selling the business and has been reported to say that if it were, Sam would likely not be someone he would sell it to.

The question was about the business being worth over $250,000 and so "Joe" wanted to know how the taxes would hit him.

A. The business was not worth over $250,000. More like just under $100,000 so the question didn't really apply.
B. Obama pointed out numerous exceptions that would have reduced that businesses tax burden under the false circumstances that SW the fake plumber set up. So...
C. The business would have actually done better under Obama's plan than under John McCain's.

Later, because Obama used the phrase "spread the wealth" in his detailed answer, SW the fake plumber declared that it sounded like socialism.

A. Socialism is where the state owns all property and business. Taxation does "spread the wealth" no matter where its focused. But it isn't socialism

B. Well, more like just a conclusion. SW the fake plumber doesn't know what he's talking about.

For awhile there was the thought that he might have a country singing career, then there was the book deal...a gazillion ways to cash in on the 15 minutes that John McCain so clumsily handed him.

Now Sam, who is still calling himself Joe, is saying that the press shouldn't report on war at all...ever. Because he's spent a little time in Israel being shown remnants from the Hamas bombings and concluding what we who have never been to Israel already know. That the Israeli people (And Sam, not the i in Israeli) live under difficult and frightening conditions. Dozens of Israeli's have been killed.

So according to STFP the press should just stay out of it when it comes to war. War is what. what...

Now don't get me wrong. I do agree that Israel has the right to defend itself and Hamas HAS broken an agreement set up by Egypt by bombing Israel. Hamas has stated its goal to destroy Israel. But there ARE also innocent Palestinians (many of whom did not VOTE for Hamas to take over the government) who are dieing by the hundreds in this war.

This is a far more complicated story than Fake Plumber can handle.

Now...he does have a point about reporters giving the position of troops. That does happen at times and its stupid and careless (hear me Geraldo?). There should be some common sense limits on what can be said.

Look, if someone wants to pay the guy to go off at the mouth, great. I would love to have that job myself. LOVE it.

I just hope that if I have that kind of job at some point in the future that I'll actually know what I'm talking about and I'll continue to be curious about the whys and wherefors of a situation. And I hope to be able to offer real insight, not just the average guy's perspective.

On the other hand, I probably have better over all job prospects than this loser.

Sunday, January 11, 2009


I've been fighting some sort of cold bug for several weeks now. Its basically settled into my soft palate and glotus and pretty much stays there.

It's annoying the hell out of me.

So I'm too fogged and annoyed to talk about the Middle East and how religion seems to do more to separate us than unite us and how God must be shaking his head looking down at us...etc etc.

Instead, I'm going to add another bit of brilliance from Robot Chicken which is quickly becoming my favorite show on earth. It is apropos of nothing, but this one makes me think of a certain friend of mine.

Saturday, January 10, 2009


Shows I'm looking forward to:

Grey's Anatomy (this past Thursday): I know, the storyline has gotten whacky, but I still enjoy it.
Supernatural (1/15): Very fun and irreverent horror stories with a compelling thruline.
Smallville (1/15): Terribly written, not well acted especially without the brilliant John Glover as Lionel Luther and yet, like Spike on the last episode of Buffy "I want to see how it ends"

Shows I can't wait to get started up again:

Battlestar Galactica (1/16) This is one of the best shows ever made. Not just as science fiction but as pure storytelling.
Big Love (1/18) In some ways a better mafia show than The Sopranos.
Fringe (1/20) Compelling, mysterious, conspiracy theory, great eccentric character. "It must be BLUE cotton candy" "why" "I loathe the color pink"
Lost (1/21) Some friends of mine gave up on this show in Season 3. I say it's their loss. (hee hee). I LOVE LOVE LOVE this show and its endless mysteries and last season really opened it up. I've got my daughter hooked on it too now.

Show that is premiering that I'm jumping up and down to see:

Dollhouse (2/13)Joss Whedon's return to television starring Eliza Dushku (my former guilty pleasure, now less guilty) and Battlestar Galactica's Tahmoh Penikett.

Shows I will miss:

Dirty Sexy Money
: It riles me that this show, which is clever, well written and superbly acted was never really given a shot while certain shows (see below) continue to suck beyond redemption and get full third seasons.

Shows I wish were eradicated:

Just watch this sketch from Robot Chicken. The last part says it all.

See you tomorrow

Friday, January 9, 2009

Well, just when I thought it was safe to watch the news I see that Sarah Palebrain is back in the news. The main stream media has decided to legitimise her once more because...well...she's amusing.

She's been interviewed by a guy named John Ziegler, a right wing talk radio blabbermouth who is promoting the new conservative meme that it was the media coverage of Barack Obama that got him elected and also the "assassination" of Sarah Palin.

Ziegler also interviews people whom he says were Obama supporters. All of the interviewees that he shows don't seem to know which party was currently "in control" of congress.

He also asks them several questions about which candidate said what. Good questions and the answers do support his claim. For instance everyone knew that Sarah had spent $150,000 on clothing, but no one knew that it was Obama who claimed he had been to 57 states and had one more to visit. This apparently proves how badly informed liberals are.

He didn't question anyone on whether Obama was a muslim or not. Or an Arab, for that matter. We might remember there were hordes of people in this country who still think Obama is both of those things despite numerous statements and proofs to the contrary. There's still a large number of people out there who think Obama was born somewhere other than Hawaii, despite the certification from the state of Hawaii.

I have no doubt that a great number of uninformed people voted for Obama. Same for McCain.

Hell, there are students in public colleges who were campaigning for Ron Paul. These kids clearly didnt realize that Ron Paul would eradicate the very schools where they were pursuing their degrees.

There's no shortage for stupidity.

Any one can easily make a documentary about stupid people, featuring stupid people.

John Zeigler's ex girlfriend looks a lot like Sarah Palin by the way. I find that interesting. She's sued him for harrassment because he was speaking about her pornographically on his radio show (a show he later had to leave).

I'm done rambling. See you tomorrow.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

She who will not be mentioned

Some of you will expect me to blog about a certain blond whack job who is promoting her book.

Since she's a famous liar and has recently demonstrated just how far gone and paranoid she is...I'm leaving it alone.

When I blog about politics I want to be serious and discuss serious issues.

The blond doesn't qualify.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Distracting ADDitions

The final set of criteria from Edward Hallowell's book.

I scored an 86 on the Jasper/Goldberg test and anything above a 70 comes with a recommendation to immediately seek a full on official diagnosis.

A friend of mine scored over 100 when they took it. Now for years after learning that my daughter was on the autistic spectrum, I began to theorize from observation that just about everyone is on it. So I'd be willing to bet that most people score at least 50 on it. I invite you to take it.

Full on therapy is not in the budget at this point, so I'm looking into dietary approaches and utilizing my new found awareness as best I can.

14. A sense of insecurity.

This may surprise many of my friends because I tend to come off as much more confident than I actually am. Though in much better shape than I once (MUCH better) I still have almost crippling moments of self doubt. Often to the point if simply freezing motion entirely leading to inaction.

15. Mood swings, mood lability, especially when disengaged from a person or a project.

I'm not sure mood swings would be accurate, but I do have anxiety under these circumstances.

16. Physical or cognitive restlessness.

When I was younger I was a massive fidgeter. I always had to have something in my hands, or I'd bounce my leg with my foot.

In college I had a friend named Karen who once just grabbed a pair of scissors I was playing with and all but yelled "No more fidgeting". This was actually very effective because I wasn't aware of how annoying it can be to others.

Now I don't fidget very much, but my brain can fidget if I don't give it something to do or watch

17. A tendency toward addictive behavior.

This has never really been true for me. Aside from teen age and early 20s indulgence in alcohol, drugs and even cigarettes, once I got into my mid 20s I'd moderated everything, quit cigarettes completely (though I've smoked under some very rare very high stress situations. The last time being 10 years ago...but that's another blog entry altogether)

Addictive behavior does run from my father's side of the family however.

18.Chronic problems with self-esteem.

I think I've covered this a couple of times. Its less of an issue than it once was, but it lingers.

19.Inaccurate self-observation.

I've actually been told by past therapists that my self-observations are generally very accurate. So this would be a no.

20. Family history of ADD or manic-depressive illness or depression or substance abuse or other disorders of impulse control or mood.

Well, mom's got ADD. Actually officially diagnosed. My daughter definitely has ADD mixed in with her Aspergers Syndrome.

There's a definite history of alcohol abuse in part of my family, as I've said. Depression and other disorders tend to go along with that. That was certainly what did my father in (again, whole other blog entry).

Yeah. I think its fair to say I've got it. Therapy is just not in the wallet so right now I'm looking into supplementation, diet....that sort of thing. I'm sure I'll be writing about it.

Thanks for listening/reading. See you tomorrow.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

A short break

I'm a little tired from all this self examination, and its kind of a busy day emotionally otherwise, so I'm leaving you with the countdown below from one of my favorite shows;

and this along the lines of my recent threads

See you tomorrow.


Monday, January 5, 2009

ADDitions and Further Distraction

Continuing from yesterday:

8. Easy distractibility, trouble focusing attention, tendency to tune out or drift away in the middle of a page or a conversation, often coupled with an ability to hyperfocus at times.

When I was a teenager I would be in the middle of a book, a book I was loving, and realize I'd gone about 2 pages and had no idea what I was reading because I had drifted off onto some thought or fixated on a problem at school or whatever. I'd have to go back and figure out where I derailed.

I don't do this so much anymore because I easily catch the moment when I start to drift, take a breath and continue reading. But it took me a couple of years. My mother used to say "Yeah I do that too" so I thought it was normal. My mother was officially diagnosed with Adult ADHD a few years ago, by the way.

My childhood report cards, without exception, include notes from teachers about how "Johnny is a very intelligent young man, but he has a tendency to day dream...."

9.Often creative, intuitive, highly intelligent.

While I might dispute the highly intelligent part, others would support that claim. Creative? Always have been. Not just in the usual ways (being an actor, writer, etc.) but in getting myself out of certain jams.

10. Trouble in going through established channels, following "proper" procedure.

I do tend to hesitate before beginning to go through these sorts of things, but I tend to do alright. It IS a stressful thing for me to do though.

11. Impatient; low tolerance of frustration.

BINGO. Best way for me to lose my temper is to have to wait a long time or feel like I'm doing something too many times to get whatever that something is right...And by too many I mean twice.

12. Impulsive, either verbally or in action, as in impulsive spending of money, changing plans, enacting new schemes or career plans, and the like; hot-tempered.

Oh the money thing...that's taken me YEARS to get a handle on. But yeah...I could be very impulsive. I'm much better about that now. Not having any money is good training for not spending it and I seem to have been able to carry that through the slightly better times.

I'm not a big one for changing plans. In fact I hate when plans change. I get stressed out if it happens too much. And by too much I mean twice.

13. A tendency to worry needlessly, endlessly; a tendency to scan the horizon looking for something to worry about, alternating with inattention to or disregard for actual dangers.

I do worry a lot. While one could argue that all worrying is needless, since worry in and of itself solves nothing, I usually start worrying well before the worry line is crossed. Well before there's an actual real issue. I think it relates to the crisis/stimulation point I covered yesterday. And of course the more I worry, the more there is to worry about. Nice cycle. Sometimes turns to self fulfilling prophecy.

This I've also spent a lot of time working on and when I keep my yoga practice regularly the worry easily and quickly to make room for solutions.

Keep up the practice you say? Well, yes...that's obvious. ADD.

Ok...more tomorrow!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

ADDition and Distraction

I've mentioned before that it looks pretty clear that I have ADD and that it's something that I can't believe wasn't obvious to me years ago.

Here's a list of indicators from a very good book I got in New Paltz for 50 cents at the urging of my ex-wife. Well spent half a buck.

A. A chronic disturbance in which at least twelve of the following are present:

1. A sense of underachievement, of not meeting one's goals (regardless of how much one has actually accomplished)

Well that certainly fits me to a tee. I'm in my late 40s and nowhere close to any real accomplishment.

2. Difficulty getting organized

Anyone that's known me for any length of time or been to my apartment knows how perfectly well this fits me...though when I do get organized, its super organized.

3. Chronic procrastination or trouble getting started.

Mhm. This sort of thing does lead to Criteria 1.

4. Many projects going simultaneously, trouble with follow-through.

For years that was an issue. Then I started just trying one thing at a time. Follow through is still tricky. I work best in projects with others. It's one reason I started this blog..A way to have to follow through because there's an alleged audience. (All 5 of you out there?)

5. A tendency to say what comes to mind without necessarily considering the timing or appropriateness of the remark.

I used to think of this as sometimes being tactless. It's not a frequent occurrence but I do find lately I am more impulsive and sometimes say or write things I regret almost immediately after. Never things meant to be hurtful, in fact often meant to be helpful, but so impulsively expressed that the words get mixed up and I end up sounding like an insensitive ass when in fact I'm more likely being a sensitive ass. Kind of like the Harry Connick Jr. character in P.S. I Love You:

"Sorry, I have a syndrome. I don't really have a filter. I don't pick up on social cues"

"You mean you're rude"

"Yeah but now it's a disease I can get medication for it"

6. A frequent search for high stimulation.

At first I thought that this doesn't apply. Then I started thinking about things a bit more. A great deal of my life is pretty much one crisis after another with small breaks in between. Now, that's not stimulation like sky diving, or speed boating and car racing; the kind of stimulation one thinks of but it is stimulating. I have to admit that.

This hit me like a hammer to the head this morning as it all occurred to me. And its got my thoughts reeling.

I tend to subscribe to the thinking that we create our own lives by what we focus on. And as I suggested in my New Years post, I tend to worry. Worry breeds the worrisome. Thus...seeking stimulation.

7. An intolerance of boredom.

I always have to have something happening. A movie, music, podcasts on the subway ride. A magazine. A book. I can't ride the subway without something to keep occupied with or I get fidgety.

There's more. I'll continue tomorrow and likely the day after.

Saturday, January 3, 2009


Everyone is annoying me in the Middle East and if Condaleeza Rice says one more thing to suggest she's actually done something of any substance I might have to slap her.

I know a man isn't supposed to hit a woman...but for the sake of all that is holy....

If she really believes that in the future anyone is going to actually thank George W. Bush for anything but leaving office, then I want whatever drugs she's been taking. The Middle East is exploding again...thanks to these cretinous, shameless neanderthals.

Democracy in the Middle East got us Hamas for Palestine...YAY TEAM!

Israel reacts with overwhelming force as usual. Back and forth back and forth....

Just imagine if Shrub had not decided to disengage from that entire conflict...But no...Iraq was the central ground in the war on terror.

Maybe on his death bed he will understand that it is, was and always will be Israel/Palestine. I hope its not too late for Obama to make a difference there...but I wonder...we let things fester for so long...then pushed a region to adopt a way of governing that it's not accustomed to.

Why is it that I, a dumb, struggling actor from New York, understand this stuff more than a college professor from Stanford? I don't know.

What I do know is that the era of self patronizing, wrong headed children is 16 days away from being over...and if I could just go to sleep and wake up on the morning of the 21st, I'd be ok with that.

Friday, January 2, 2009

It's Maaagic

I've been watching with strange amusement this whole RNC/Rush Limbaugh/Obama the Magic Negro shenanigans. A lot of amusement.

In the long run, what I'd like to see is a rehabilitated Republican Party. One that will be an intelligent, thoughtful and active loyal opposition to a Democratic Party that has managed to find its voice and nads again.

But the Repugs are a stubborn party. So stuck in their ways and completely unable to understand how "Obama The Magic Negro" is offensive, witless and disgusting to anyone with a sense of history and half a brain, that they actually have the nerve to say its just satire.

"Oh no its not about Obama, its about Al Sharpton" Right...that makes it less offensive cause Sharpton is a black guy that no one respects. Riiiiiiiiight. Except that for many Americans and New Yorkers, Al Sharpton IS respected and looked up to. So a white guy impersonating Sharpton singing about Obama as if Sharpton doesn't like offensive at all.

I enjoy this because any further outing of idiots in the Republican Party is good for America. They might not lose out because of this. In fact it looks like it might help them gain power in the party. Fine.

More of that please. Keep the party regional and less relevant nationally. Force them into powerlessness by shear stubbornness. Let Rush say that anything he does has nothing to do with race and scream about Powell's endorsement of Obama is "all about race". It's always everyone else's fault when your a Republican. Never your own. Party of grown ups indeed.

So, as I see it, the party will be in turmoil for awhile and I for one relish the idea of watching them flounder in disarray as I've been forced to watch the Democrats do the same.

Not that I'm entirely confident that the Democrats aren't in disarray still. After all, Harry Reid is still the Senate Majority Leader and Nancy Pelosi is still the speaker of the house. Two worthless Democrats if there ever were.

But please keep it coming RNC, keep it coming. It looks like you really have to hit and scrape the bottom before you start looking within. Maybe one day, you'll catch on about America and its promise. Perhaps one day your eyes will open and you'll look around and see the world and reality and you'll get why you're wrong 90% of the time about 98% of everything.

Maybe one day I can take you seriously for the first time in my adult life. Honestly, I'd like that.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

A year of regularity?

Well, I started this blog with the idea of that whole 365 thing. A way of starting a writing discipline that would begin a kind of training.

So....not so much so far.

I don't do New Year's Resolutions. They're artificial and tend to create more tension than they're worth.

But goals are good. One of my goals is to keep writing in this blog on the subjects that matter to me every day for at least the next 365 days. But I'm not making a big deal about it.

More goals:

A better and closer relationship with my daughter.

At least double my income, if not triple it. (Yeah yeah, I know...the economy...still making it a goal)

Three paid acting gigs this year.

Achieve near debt freedom.

A particular meeting.

See more movies.

Be IN a movie. TV is great too.

Do what I can to put Christine Quinn on the unemployed list.

Laugh more. Fear less. Worry never.

Get back in shape.

No Pressure though.

See you tomorrow.